Our lives are filled with expectations. From our earliest age, our actions are shaped and modified by the explicit and implicit expectations of the people and institutions around us. Our parents and friends expect certain behavior, and our employers do as well. Our governments impose expectations through laws. From the moment of our birth, a mountain of expectations falls upon us, and the burdens associated with those expectations only grows.

Expectations, of course, are ignored or forgotten after they are realized. I expect the light to come on when I flip the switch. I expect the car to start when I turn the key. I expect the grocer to carry my favorite yogurt. But when expectations are not realized, we are faced with a conundrum. Why is my expectation misaligned with reality? What did I get wrong? Why have other people let me down? How can this circumstance be rectified?

It would be logical if our emotional reaction to missed expectations was proportionate to the real cost, but often our emotions are exaggerated. For example, when I open the kitchen drawer and I do not fi nd a utensil in its appointed location, the actual harm I experience is quite small, but for some people that triggers a response of unwarranted negativity.

When the circumstances are larger than a misplaced utensil, we can experience an explosion of negative emotional energy. We can become frustrated, depressed, angry, anxious, frightened, or shocked. Th is is all because the way we perceive the world is wrong in some way. Imagine, for example, that you are driving to work anticipating several important client meetings. At an intersection someone runs a red light and strikes your vehicle. Fortunately, no one is injured but your automobile is seriously damaged and unable to function. You immediately realize your expectations for the day will not be realized. The more you consider your current plight, the more you realize just how far reaching the consequences of the accident are. The car will need to be repaired or replaced. The meetings, events, and appointments that were accessible before the accident are instantly out of reach without the assistance of others. Your schedule will be affected today, tomorrow, and potentially many more days that follow. The accident will be inconvenient and potentially expensive to remedy. How would you react under the circumstances?

Expectations shape our behavior and inform our emotional response to events in our lives. When our expectations are not realized, it can be highly distressing, often disproportionately so.

Herein is an important lesson for SMEs. Audiences come with expectations or an SME—they hope the SME will rectify a certain problem. If there were no expectations, there would be no need for an SME. Your goal as an SME, therefore, is to satisfy your audience’s expectations. It is not enough to perform the task that you think is needed. You must perform the task your audience thinks will satisfy their perceived needs.

Of course, it is not always possible for SMEs to fully satisfy an audience’s expectations. A medical patient may expect a doctor to eliminate all the pain associated with an ailment, for example. This may not be possible or desirable. Nevertheless, an SME starts with the objective of satisfying the audience’s hopes and expectations. If you can’t or don’t meet their expectations, then you should be prepared for an explosion of negative emotional energy.