To be wrong is to believe that something is true when it is actually false, or conversely, to believe something is false when it is actually true. In my experience with SMEs for the past two decades, this is how most of them think about truth and falsity. It is binary. You are right or you are wrong. Truth is empirical and verifiable. Falsity should be avoided because it is at odds with reality.

This factual approach is of course simplistic. A complete definition of the word wrong must also include moral and preferential dimensions. From a factual perspective, it may be wrong to think the world is flat. From a moral perspective, it may be wrong to lie or to rob a bank. And from a preferential perspective, it may be wrong to eat apple pie without vanilla ice cream or to indent paragraphs with spaces rather than tabs. All these things are wrong. (At least they are in my judgment.) But some things are more wrong than others.

For some strange reason, which researchers have never quite determined, humans have a difficult time recognizing their own errors. As children, we were told we were wrong frequently. We were corrected by parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, and friends. Over time the frequency of our errors diminished while the seriousness of our errors increased. As adults and professionals, we are still wrong about many things, but fewer people are willing to point it out to us.

In an odd way, most people believe they are omniscient. They go through their days believing they are making the right decisions, spending their time on the right things, interacting with the right people, and obtaining the best possible outcomes. We rarely look back on our days and see the things we did wrong.

No one likes to be wrong. Being wrong can be painful, embarrassing, frightening, confusing, and costly. Learning you were wrong is rarely enjoyable. We now live in a time when many people are sensitive about being told they are wrong; they think it is synonymous with being called stupid. Dealing with wrongness is more precarious now than ever before.

An SME must discover and work through the implications of being wrong. If something seems to be wrong, then the SME should start with themself. Are you, the SME, wrong? If so, own it, correct it, communicate it, and move on. If not, then assume the person who is wrong does not know that they are wrong. Rarely do people recognize their own error. Help them discover deficiencies and improvements. Don’t pass judgment, factually, morally, or preferentially. Don’t tell people they are wrong, but instead gracefully and tactfully show them where progress is possible.

Sometimes the truth is painful, and SMEs need to be willing to expose painful things, but most of the time they can correct with a tone of empathy, encouragement, patience, and love. Being wrong is hard, so don’t make it harder. Lighten the load and share the burden of being wrong.